Teachers and administrators in America’s
public schools indoctrination centers continue to look for new ways to keep our children safe from the threat of being killed in a mass shooting.
Of course, in order to stay true to their anti-Second Amendment agenda, these protectors of our children reject common sense solutions, like allowing a small number of highly trained teachers or other adults to arm themselves.
After all, it’s the guns that are evil, not the demented individuals who use them to slaughter children. Right?
Still, these sympathizers of socialism and secularism haven’t lacked for creative alternatives.
A few years ago, an Alabama middle school launched a new line of personal protection equipment: cans of corn or peas or cling peaches in heavy syrup. Not to eat, mind you, but to use as a weapon to throw at an armed intruder.
Earlier this year, the Blue Mountain School District in Pennsylvania went with a more affordable option — a five-gallon bucket of rocks in every classroom. According to Superintendent Dr. David Helsel, armed intruders “will face a classroom full of students with rocks.”
Considering how Trump’s trade war is driving up the cost of metal used to make a can, I can see the wisdom in their strategy.
But these ideas pale in comparison to the brainstorm coming out of a Michigan university.
In what I like to call the Don Rickles defense against active shooters, Oakland University will arm faculty and students with … wait for it … hockey pucks to throw at the guy with the gun. Apparently, older students need more fire power.
The school conducts active-shooter training, teaching faculty and students the “run, hide, fight” method of defense, which means they are trained to flee first, hide if fleeing is impossible, and fight if hiding is impossible.
However, even if forced to fight, using the hockey puck should be “an absolute last strategy” according to Oakland University Police Chief Mark Gordon.
Maybe the university should offer a course in puck safety. Or for that matter, maybe all of these campuses should simply post a warning next to their gun-free school zone signs:
Warning! Staff and students are armed and trained. Any attempt to harm children will be met with ______________ ! (fill in with canned vegetables, river rocks, or hockey pucks as appropriate)
Makes you feel safer sending your children to school already, doesn’t it?
David Leach is the owner of The Strident Conservative. His politically incorrect and always “right” columns are also featured on NOQReport.com.
His daily radio commentary is distributed by the Salem Radio Network and is heard on stations across America.