Welcome to Conservative Comedy Friday – Coronavirus Quarantine Edition, 2.0. A kind of sequel to the original edition of the same title.
We begin this edition of Conservative Comedy Friday with a few COVID witticisms from my friend Duane Allen (President and Lead Singer of the Oak Ridge Boys):
- Today’s Weather? Room temperature.
- Ontario has banned groups larger than 5. If you’re a family of 6, you’re all about to find out who’s the least favorite!
- The longer this goes on, the harder it will be to return to a society where pants and bras are required!
- 30 Days Hath September, April, June and November. All the rest have 31 … except March and April which hath 8000
- After a few days of not going out, I saw someone I knew walking by on the sidewalk outside. I immediately ran to the window and started yelling to them. Now I understand dogs.
- Day 40 of social isolation and it’s looking like Vegas in my house: We’re losing money by the minute, cocktails are acceptable at any hour, and nobody knows what time it is.
Now that we’re well past “flattening the curve” of coronavirus (that’s sarcasm folks), the march toward a tyrannical socialist state continues as we head into the 2020/2021 school year. In that spirit, school bureaucrats, teachers, and teacher’s unions have refused to teach children in person, choosing instead to rely on a new form of coronavirus quarantine — remote learning tyranny.
Will it be successful? I’ll let you be the judge after you take a look at this very funny video: Bloopers, Blowups, and Blunders — Remote Learning Edition.
Recently, I wrote an article about how coronavirus Christians are demanding that everyone accept government’s arbitrary stay-at-home mandates or the requirement to wear a mask in a vain attempt to ease the guilt they feel for bowing to government tyranny and oppression, and the guilt they’re trying to inflict on others who refuse to bow with them.
In this video by WhatsHerFace, we get a clearer picture as to the true motivations of many of these people:
“I decided a long time ago that shallow insignificant gestures are a much easier way to showcase my morality than actually being moral. Because in order to be a really good person, I need to stand up to a really bad person, and I don’t like standing up to or for anything. It’s much easier to trick my mind into thinking compliance is a virtue instead of what it really is, cowardice.”
Check out this “funny because it’s true” video simply entitled, Why I Wear My Mask:
Back in April (you know, the first time we flattened the curve), our tyrannical government benevolently decided to give us back the rights they were never empowered to take in the first place. Part of this good news included the re-opening of so-called “non-essential” businesses like restaurants and bars.
Unfortunately, as it has been since the beginning of time, these tyrants weren’t ready to give up their power. So the re-opening of these businesses had more strings attached than a marionette puppet show.
In this “Margaritaville” parody written and performed by Reason TV’s Remy, we learn that while some people claim that there’s a woman to blame, we know it’s the government’s fault. Check out NoMargaritasville.
Have a great weekend!
David Leach is the owner of the Strident Conservative. He holds people of every political stripe accountable for their failure to uphold conservative values, and he promotes those values instead of political parties.