Welcome to Conservative Comedy Friday – Post 2020 Election Edition.
We begin with a true story from Washington, D.C.
A priest went into a Washington, D.C. barbershop, got his hair cut and asked how much he owed. “No charge, Father,” the barber said. “I consider it a service to the Lord.” When the barber arrived at his shop the next morning, he found a dozen small prayer booklets on the stoop along with a thank you note from the priest.
A few days later a police officer came in. “How much do I owe you?” the cop asked after his haircut. “No charge, officer,” the barber answered. “I consider it a service to my community.”
The next morning the barber found a dozen doughnuts on the stoop along with a thank you note from the police officer. A few days after that, a Senator walked in for a haircut. “How much do I owe you?” he asked afterward. “No charge,” the barber replied. “I consider it a service to my country.”
The next morning when he arrived at the shop, the barber found a dozen Senators waiting on the stoop.
Despite losing the election by record numbers, Donald Trump continues to claim victory while denying defeat. This reality has prompted many to ask “What if he refuses to leave?” — a scenario so real that discussions have been held about how the Secret Service might be put in the position to remove Trump by force.
But never fear, my fellow conservatives. Even as the Trump nightmare ends and another begins, I’ve found some humorous answers to this question in this edition of Conservative Comedy Friday.
The first potential solution for this problem comes to us courtesy of “The Late Show With Stephen Colbert“: a moving company that specializes in dealing with “one-term presidents who just won’t leave.
— A Late Show (@colbertlateshow) November 19, 2020
“Do you know somebody that lost their lease because of a free and fair election, but they’re refusing to move? Then call F-U-Haul, the leader in removing one-term presidents who just won’t leave!”
In a song parody of Paul Simon’s “50 Ways To Leave Your Lover,” the Parody Project gives us a boatload of suggestions for Trump to consider. Check out “50 Ways To Leave The White House”:
“The problem is all inside your head, we all agree. You were voted out so now you’re just a wannabe. We’d like to doff your ass from public property. There must be 50 ways to leave the White House.”
Unfortunately, the Fellowship of the Pharisees are not only refusing to acknowledge the truth of Trump’s defeat, they are appealing to Heaven in ways that not only make them look foolish, but also do great damage to the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
In this latest #SongifyThis, the gang at Schmoyoho puts the whole embarrassing situation to music as only they can. Some of the accidental singing stars featured are Kenneth Copeland from the Land of Cope, Paula White-Cain (Trump’s spiritual adviser / official church lady), Brad, Michelle Bachmann, Newt Gingrich, Tucker Carlson, Jon Voight, and Sean Hannity, who has still not been called.
Remember to laugh, and try not to cry.
Another post-election issue we’re being forced to deal with is the renewed emphasis on coronavirus hysteria, lockdowns, and national mask mandates. In this parody of “Surfin’ USA,” Reason TV’s Remy reminds us of what awaits us in the near future if things don’t change.
For more laughs, be sure to check out the Conservative Comedy archives. Have a great weekend!
David Leach is the owner of the Strident Conservative. He holds people of every political stripe accountable for their failure to uphold conservative values, and he promotes those values instead of political parties.