US Government To Issue Tire Gauges

During the campaign, the Socialist-in-Chief provided a solution to the high gasoline prices America was experiencing last summer. His idea was so unique, that it would also eliminate the need for such radical ideas as drilling offshore and opening up desolate areas of Alaska to oil exploration.


Now that gas prices are once again on the rise, and being true to his conviction that only Government can provide the answers to America’s problems, Obama has announced that Uncle Sam will be using some of the economic stimulus funds to give deserving car owners in the country a free tire gauge.

“We will be a world leader in properly inflated tires,” stated Obama. “We will also issue government grants to those making less than $250,000 a year for a tune up once a year, to be performed at any of the new Government Motor dealerships across America.”

Oversight of the plan will be conducted by a yet-to-be-appointed, “tire gauge czar.”


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