Obama Open To Taxing Health

ObamaDoctorIn his struggle to find the financial resources necessary to fund his government takeover of the nation’s health care system, the Physician-in-Chief has found that he has to consider ideas previously thought to be taboo. Now, in a bold stroke of genius that can only come from the all-knowing one, he has finally found a source for those hard to come by dollars.

He’s now open to taxing health.

Not to be confused with taxing healthcare benefits by those who are fortunate enough to have coverage from their employer, nor his idea of fining businesses and corporations who are too small to provide coverage for their employees, his concept of taxing health is an idea whose time has come. He discussed the idea with reporters after his healthcare info-mercial on the All Barack Channel (ABC) had concluded earlier this evening.

“I don’t want to prejudge what they’re doing,” the president said, “but I am encouraging the leadership to consider this new approach to taxing those who have – in order to give to those who have not.”

While short on details – the modus operandi used by Obama to spend trillions of dollars, seize banks and take over car companies – Obama had Dianne Sawyer near tears as he spoke his words of wisdom.

“Studies have indicated that healthy Americans don’t have a need for doctors and hospitals, while the unhealthy depend on them to get the vital services they need. Just like it’s not fair for the rich to have all the money at the expense of the poor, it’s not fair for one group of people to enjoy a healthy lifestyle at the expense of the unhealthy. It’s just one more way to share the wealth.” 

When asked about his pledge not to raise taxes on individuals making less than $250,000 per year, he reiterated that he will always honor that pledge.

“We are open to calling it a fee instead of a tax, which will allow me to keep my insurance and my tax promises.”

As the interview concluded, the great physician retreated to “his” house – a name given to the President’s residence courtesy of ABC – to make plans for his next info-mercial covering immigration reform. Rumors that this would be hosted by Univision could not be confirmed.


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