Global Warming Church Introduces New Children’s Curriculum

NeverUnderestimateStupidPeopleAs the Church of Global Warming looks for new ways to spread the gospel of mankind’s eminent doom from a warming planet – let’s just forget that science now shows we may be entering another ice age – church leaders have been hard at work on developing new educational materials for the children.

Based on the premise that a child is more willing to accept as fact anything they are told by a parent, teacher, or other person in authority, this new curriculum has been devised to brainwash train children regarding the “settled science” that SUVs and greedy energy companies are responsible for drowning “Rex” and causing “Fluffy” to cry (check the video for these heart-wrenching conclusions).

*excuse me while I wipe a tear from my eye*

Rumors that the Most Reverend Al Gore (High Priest of the Global Warming Church) was behind the publication of the book could not be provided at the time of this post, but it is suspected that the Nobel Prize winning “expert” on the subject was consulted on how to use taxpayer money to pay for government propaganda – something liberals are quite good at.

We were able to catch up with Rev. Gore as he was exiting his limousine to board his private jet, which was scheduled to whisk him away to another environmental conference on how to reduce CO2 emissions by traveling less, where we asked him about the new curriculum.

“This type of indoctrina…, err, training is vital to being prepared for the future. I’m not sure who said it, but it’s been said that we must make sure we are ready for any unforeseen events that may or may not occur. This will help make that happen.”

While it remains to be seen how successful this approach is going to be, I can’t help but be reminded of a dark song from the 1980’s that demands, “Hey teacher, leave them kids alone!”

Education is a weapon, whose effect depends on who holds it in his hands and at whom it is aimed. – Josef Stalin

“Tell a lie often enough, loud enough, and long enough and people will believe it.” – Adolf Hitler

 

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