As we have seen throughout his career, the President of the United States depends on his good friend, the Teleprompter of the United States, to deliver the kind of speeches that causes Chris Matthews’ leg to tingle and Newsweek to declare him a god.
On the few occasions where he risked venturing out to the great unknown of “winging it,” he gave us such memorable foot-in-mouth moments as his “stupid” accusation about the Cambridge, MA. police department and his “tire gauge” solution to the energy crisis.
However, these moments of ineptitude pale in comparison to a new revelation being reported by The Onion News Network. In a startling exclusive, ONN has provided proof that the Toastmaster-in-Chief actually “lip-syncs” some of his presentations.
When asked for comment on this revelation, Chris Matthews made sure that we knew that his infatuation with “the one” hadn’t changed.
“While this incident changed how his message was delivered, it changed nothing about what he actually said. He still gives me tingles and I bow to his omnipotence,” said the host of MSNBC’s Hardball.
“Besides, it worked for Milli Vanilli, right?”
White House officials have gone to great lengths to avoid the Milli Vanilli comparison.
“For the uninitiated, it wasn’t just lip-syncing that got Milli Vanilli in trouble. They got in trouble because the vocals they were lip-syncing weren’t their own,” stated an unnamed source. “The President was lip-syncing his own voice.”
“You can say his speech was fake, but you can’t say it wasn’t his.”
Rumors that this idea came from David Axelrod due to his love of Milli Vanilli’s music could not be confirmed.
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