Gitmo

Sources Confirm Bo Ate The Gitmo Report

July 20, 2009
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Sources Confirm Bo Ate The Gitmo Report

In one of his first orders of business as the new President, the messiah defiantly issued an executive order shutting down Gitmo prison. Typical of the most inexperienced President in history, this action was taken too quickly and was lacking in details. To address this lack of specifics, he established a task force (what, no czar?) to do the dirty work he was unwilling or unable to do. Since their assignment didn’t involved spending trillions of dollars on economic stimulus, cap and tax (oops, I mean cap and trade) or a government takeover of the nation’s healthcare system, they were given six months to complete their task. After all, national security…

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Kerry Coaches Obama On Gitmo Flip-Flop

June 27, 2009
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Kerry Coaches Obama On Gitmo Flip-Flop

In an exclusive interview, it has been revealed that Senator John Kerry (D-MA) has been coaching Barry Obama on how to deal with his apparent flip-flop concerning the closing of the prison located at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. Realizing that taking both sides to an issue can be politically disastrous, the Apologist-in-Chief went to one of the best in the game at speaking from both sides of his mouth. If you’ll recall, it was during the 2004 Presidential election that Kerry perfected the art of explaining how he can be “against” something and “for” something at the same time, and make it…

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Obama Gives Terrorism A New Recruitment Tool

June 16, 2009
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Obama Gives Terrorism A New Recruitment Tool

Terrorists around the world are celebrating the creation of their latest recruitment tool,  courtesy of the Obama administration. Thanks to the help of Barack Hussein, they are no longer dependent on the antiquated methods of the past, and they can look forward to meeting their recruitment goals for the next several years. “The messiah has really come through for us on this one,” stated one terrorist recruiter. “Operation Bahamas” has done more for increasing our numbers than telling lies about torture at Gitmo ever has.” Operation Bahamas, aka O.B. – a sly use of Barack’s initials, only backwards – is the…

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Khalid Sheik Mohammed Wants To Hire The ACLU

June 16, 2009
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Khalid Sheik Mohammed Wants To Hire The ACLU

 Now that the Apologist-in-Chief has let the world know that everything evil under the sun is due to America’s “torturous” treatment of avowed terrorist being held at Guantanamo Bay, the ACLU is on the verge of picking up a whole new client base. It began with the administration caving in to their demands to release Top Secret memos covering the “enhanced interrogation techniques” used on certain high profile detainees, and lead to the recent ruling by judge Jeffrey White of San Francisco (gee, what are the odds?), where he determined that a convicted terrorist can sue a former Bush administration lawyer for drafting the legal theories…

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Democrats Find Religion About Gitmo Closing – Really?

May 20, 2009
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Democrats Find Religion About Gitmo Closing – Really?

In a 90-6 vote, the US Senate rejected President Obama’s request for funding to close the Guantanamo Bay prison and have committed to do so indefinitely until the “all-knowing one” shows that he “knows” what to do with the prisoners currently held there – Really?  Do you mean the messiah had to actually tell us HOW he was going to close Gitmo? Wasn’t it enough to just SAY it was going to be closed? After all, Jesus (the first Messiah) only had to “speak the word” and it was done. Shouldn’t that be all that’s necessary for the chosen one? According…

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